From the incessant claiming of “The HOA (homeowners association) must be elected rather than be chosen by lottery” by my neighbors when i joking that the most democratic way of candidate choosing is lottery in my neighborhood chat group, I firmly believed that they only expect to have a tough one to replace them in dealing with the property management company. For me, this situation more like how young girls tend to prefer the “bad boy” type —– they admire men who fight and act cool in society, real men with backbone, who can fight and protect others, giving a sense of security. But after marriage, these girls finally discover the fact is that a lifetime of beatings comes from this very same “tough guy” husband. Fighting violence with violence ultimately brings more violence—driving away a tiger only to invite a dragon that proves even worse.
Always be wary of beautiful ideals (such as believing everything will be fine once there’s a HOA, or notions of transparent governance or communism, etc.). Because we humans are imperfect, our harmonious coexistence deem to be forged through continuous struggle and difficulty. It must be built upon the constant acknowledgment of our own foolishness. This acknowledgment first manifests in our tolerance and compromise toward different viewpoints. It’s like our health: a healthy body is wonderful, but behind this beautiful health lies the unspeakable reality of constant burping, farting, defecating, and urinating.
The same contradiction appears when we consider human nature. A common sense truth is that all human nature is selfish. This is not a shameful instinct, though people are unwilling to openly admit their own selfishness while being quite happy to be praised as selfless. However, selfishness is the foundation upon which humanity exists and develops—it is a nature truly worthy of our affirmation. At the same time, we must recognize that humans, while ensuring their own safety, are capable of altruistic, selfless behavior. Selfishness is the prerequisite for selflessness.
Overall, human behavior can be roughly divided into four types, from wise to foolish:
- Win-win cooperation
- Harming others for self-benefit
- Harming oneself for others’ benefit
- Harming both others and oneself
Win-win cooperation is the most ideal form of human interaction. Two people who were both starving join forces to kill a wild deer and share the meat, both surviving through cooperation. This is beautiful, but both individuals are still selfish—this selfishness doesn’t harm each other but actually benefits both. If what they hunted together was only a tiny warbler the size of a finger, they’d probably end up fighting each other. The market economy based on free commodity exchange is the highest realization of this type of human relationship. When property owners in a residential community want to unite and form a property owners’ committee to solve common problems that one person cannot accomplish alone, it must also be built on the foundation of win-win cooperation. Participants cannot wave the banner of selfless altruism.
Because if win-win cooperation fails, it will likely devolve into a lower level of human interaction: harming others for self-benefit. This is also the unspoken reality of how people truly interact within stock-based organizations. Its essence is bandit behavior, though we politely call this interaction a “zero-sum game.” One person’s success is built upon others’ losses—using others’ sympathy, naivety, and loyalty to build one’s own power and presence, dressing oneself up as a warrior of justice by criticizing others, and what traditional capitalism calls exploitation. These are all examples of this pattern. But often, this approach hides behind the slogan of the third type, “harming oneself for others’ benefit,” always saying, “Everything I do is for everyone’s good.”
The most easily exploited behavior is the third type, “harming oneself for others’ benefit.” This is what’s commonly called selfless dedication—sacrificing one’s own time and interests to seek welfare for others. If this behavior doesn’t stem from a very high level of consciousness, it comes from a psychological need. For example, seeing the happy smile on someone’s face after receiving help brings psychological satisfaction despite the loss of money or time—this psychological satisfaction is a form of compensation. But what if the recipient doesn’t express gratitude toward their helper? For those with fragile psyches, this often turns into resentment, leading them to refuse helping others in the future or even seek revenge. Ordinary people certainly hope others will be selflessly dedicated, but they themselves often lack the courage or composure to do so without emotional or material reward. Therefore, this third scenario is highly unstable. If genuine, its threshold is very high—not only requiring high consciousness but also emotional stability. Even so, it’s still prone to corruption. After all, no one can always strongly face having their warm face pressed against a cold butt. Because of its social attribute of not wanting to do it oneself while hoping others will, it becomes extremely easy to exploit. Thus, ordinary people should remain wary of those who throw out this proposition. The threshold is too high—after all, only one Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva emerges in several thousand years. There are so many evil spirits in hell, yet how many people are willing to get covered in bad luck to save them? Additionally, because of its high threshold, people must frequently identify whether this behavior is genuine and reliable, which inevitably leads to speculation about motives, thereby dragging humanity into the soul struggles that have occurred throughout history.
The fourth type of relationship is harming both others and oneself—this is typical idiot behavior, belonging to mindless backlash after psychological distortion. For example, killing someone to rob 10 yuan: this is harming both others and oneself. He faces the enormous risk of losing his life for a return of only 10 yuan, which is clearly not worth it. For the victim, it’s 100% harm. So people who engage in this behavior are pure idiots, limited to those with psychological illnesses or low intelligence.
Among these four types, I think the most terrifying is selfless dedication, because it’s so beautiful and catches people completely off guard. All roads to hell are paved with flowers. Laozi said: “Goodness that seeks to be known is not true goodness.” Those who constantly talk about forgetting themselves for others—Laozi saw through them at a glance. Ask yourself: how many people in this world can quietly dedicate themselves to others without anyone knowing? Those who accumulate “yin virtue” (hidden merit) generally have faith; they do selfless good deeds because they believe a god will know their virtue. And ask: how many people dare to sincerely say, “I do things first for myself, but while doing so, I can also let others benefit. When my interests conflict with yours, I may have to fight you to defend my own interests”? Therefore, those who truly want win-win cooperation will never avoid their own interests. Instead, they consider how to create new value to avoid interest conflicts, rather than promising to sacrifice themselves.
The second type—those who harm others for self-benefit—is not frightening. They’re simply pursuing their own interests. Selfish behavior only shows they’re normal humans, not that they’re despicable. Only when harming others does one step into the realm of the despicable. If people know someone has done something selfish, that precisely shows they haven’t covered up their behavior. Laozi also said: “Evil that fears being known is true evil.” If their selfish behavior isn’t concealed, it shows they’re not that detestable—it shows they’ve given others an easy opportunity to recognize their bandit nature, so people can be on guard. A true villain is better than a false gentleman.
In summary: Self-interest is an instinct. If a person is intelligent enough to continuously create new value, they may achieve a win-win cooperation situation. Otherwise, they either fall into the despicable realm of harming others for self-benefit or elevate themselves into a saint who harms themselves for others’ benefit.
If a person has average intelligence and lacks the ability to create new value, under strong self-interest drive, they will wave the banner of “harming oneself for others’ benefit,” even disguise themselves as a saint, but ultimately engage in harming others for self-benefit.
If a person has low intelligence, they become a mindless idiot who harms both others and themselves.